Thursday 14 March 2013

Moments That Define Us

It's amazing the opportunities that we get to reflect and recently I've had an incredible experience that I have found hard to put into words. However, when talking to my wonderful mother about what happened she described it as a "life-defining experience". I guess I better explain!

At the end of this year at Medical School we have the opportunity to do our elective - meaning that we can go somewhere either local or far away to gain experience in a field of medicine that we otherwise wouldn't have had the time to pursue. When trying to determine where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do I stumbled across the profile for a Christian Mission Hospital in Nepal. I was excited about the idea of going somewhere to work with a group of people who were largely volunteers of the Christian faith and I was encouraged by the idea that at least we would have something in common.

It took me some time to get together all the documents and fill in all of the forms that I needed for the hospital and I finally managed to achieve all the things I needed to. As a requirement of the hospital, they wanted me to be sent to Nepal by a Christian Mission Agency and after some time I managed to get all of the documents in to Interserve, who I was told were the agency usually used. They arranged for me to have an interview with them so I drove to Milton Keynes, thinking that it might be a bit taxing but that it was in the bag and they were sure to help me.

When I walked in to their offices there were pictures on the walls with beautiful quotes from the Bible about serving others and it made me smile to see them. I went to the interview room with two employees who were lovely, friendly women. We started with an opening prayer and I felt comfortable. They asked me some questions about my faith. I talked with them about the things that I knew to be true and my experiences in studying the Bible and other scripture in seminary. They started to ask me lots of questions and I was suddenly aware that they were looking for something specific. I understood this the moment they pulled out their Statement of Faith.

The document was presented to me and as I read the opening paragraph my heart sank. I didn't know how they were going to respond but as we read it together I explained to them that this was talking about the Trinity and that my own Christian beliefs were that The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost are separate beings. They explained their position and we read on.

We reached a paragraph about half way down the page that read that "We accept the Bible as the only word of God". They paused, clearly remembering from our conversation that I had mentioned other scripture. I explained what the Book of Mormon is - that it is a record of the people of the Ancient Americas in the same way that the Bible is the record of the people in Jerusalem and that God had dealings with both sets of people. One of the ladies had backed out of the conversation at this point and was listening to the conversation I then had with the other. She asked me why there needed to be another book, wasn't the Bible enough? I told her that it was a second witness that didn't detract from the Bible. I said that by the mouth of two or three witnesses truth is established. She asked me if I knew how many authors the Bible had. I realise, now (though I didn't at the time as the tears started to well as understanding dawned on me) that she was suggesting that this was already the case. There were already many witnesses. A fair point and in my rising panic I had no answer for it. I told them that I would have to take the word "only" out to agree with the statement.

They told me, gently, that Interserve could not send me to Nepal. I started to cry - I was shocked, I think. I felt that it was being implied that these were statements that were the basis of Christianity and in not agreeing with them I was somehow un-Christian. I asked them how it would affect my service. I said that I found it unfair and that I was upset that our commonalities were being ignored. I told them that I believed in the Saviour - and that common belief was vital to me. They asked me whether, all things considered, I believed I could sign their statement. I hesitated and looked at it. Could I just sign it? Couldn't I just button it about my denomination and just be 'a Christian' in the way that they wanted for a little while? Wasn't the service I was offering more important?... and wouldn't it adversely affect my year at medical school if I didn't?

I told them that, in full honesty, these weren't my beliefs and I couldn't sign. I dried my tears and they both hugged me as I left. One of them promised to look into another agency that might be able to help. They were lovely, lovely people.

I got to my car and just felt hurt. I felt rejected and confused. I was right back to square one. I had gone in there with everything to look forward to and had come out with nothing. No plans. No options. In my heart of hearts, I knew that no agency would send me and even if they did the hospital might no longer accept me once they had heard from Interserve.

BUT - I knew it was the right thing to do. I cried, yes. I prayed on my drive and I still felt confused but I felt that something would happen and all would be made right. I felt that everything would actually be ok. I reminded myself that I was a Christian and that Heavenly Father would give me opportunities to serve. I wanted to go home and crawl into a ball and cry, but I had places to go that He wanted me to go so I did that instead. It put things into perspective and gave me a feeling of love. It reminded me that He loves us all and that He has a plan and never abandons us.

There's a happy ending; at least, I think so!

I went into my placement on the Monday and spoke to some of my friends about what had happened. Immediately one of them told me about where she was going and how wonderful the hospital was. She sent me the details and told me I should apply. I emailed them and they gave me instructions on what to do and by the next day I had applied and provisionally been accepted by this wonderful teaching hospital in.....

(wait for it)...

Sri Lanka!

I don't know for sure that this is going to work out and it's going to take a lot of energy for me to re-write my protocol and risk assessment but this is an exciting option I never imagined before. All of this was aided by the friend I was going to Nepal with - she was so understanding and is still planning on going where I go which is not going to be easy for her either.

Heavenly Father looks after us and He gives us moments where He can test our strength so that He can bless us with a witness that what we are doing is right. I'm so grateful for that. I'm grateful I can look at this life-defining moment and know that I acted in a way I can hold my head up high about.

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